Intermediate · 6 of 6
Relay Management Guide
Master Nostr relays. Learn how to choose, configure, and optimize your relay connections for better performance and reach.
How Relays Work (3 minutes)
Relay Visualizer
wss://relay.damus.io
15,000 Connections
wss://nos.lol
8,200 Connections
wss://relay.snort.social
Building on Previous Knowledge: This section briefly reviews the post office analogy from Relays Demystified. If you remember how relays work, feel free to skip to Types of Relays.
The Simple Explanation
Relays are servers that store and forward your Nostr messages.
Think of them like post office boxes:
- You drop a copy of your letter (your post) at several post offices
- Each post office keeps its own copy. They don’t forward mail to each other
- Recipients pick it up from a post office you both use
In Nostr:
- You write a note (post)
- Client sends a copy to each relay you’ve connected to
- Relays store it and serve it to anyone who asks. By default they don’t pass it on to other relays
- Followers get it from the relays you publish to. Your client announces that list of relays publicly (this is NIP-65), so other people’s apps know where to look for you. Older apps that ignore the list only see your posts if you happen to share a relay with them
Why This Matters
Because your posts sit on several relays at once, one of them going down doesn’t take you offline, and nobody can wipe your writing off all of them at the same time. If a relay starts refusing your work, you move to another one and your readers follow. That same openness is why relays differ from each other: some are free, some charge, some filter heavily and some barely at all, and you pick the mix you want to live with.
Technical Overview [ADVANCED]
Under the hood, relays use WebSocket connections:
Client ←→ WebSocket ←→ Relay Server ←→ DatabaseWhen you post:
- Client signs the message with your private key
- Client sends to connected relays via WebSocket
- Relay validates the signature
- Relay stores in database
- Relay broadcasts to subscribers
You don’t need to understand the technical details. Just know that relays make Nostr work without central control.
Types of Relays (2 minutes)
Free Public Relays
Volunteers and community members run these, and anyone can post to them. They cost nothing, they’re where most people start, and the big ones carry a lot of the network. The trade is that a free relay is only as reliable as the goodwill keeping it up: expect the occasional slow spell or outage.
Examples:
wss://relay.damus.io(most popular)wss://nos.lolwss://relay.snort.socialwss://nostr.mom
Skip relay.nostr.band. It has been offline for a long time now and is not expected back. Plenty of guides still list it, which is why a relay that never connects is such a common reason a new setup looks broken. Use the relays above.
Paid Relays
You pay to write to these, usually a fee in bitcoin over Lightning. The money buys an operator who has a reason to keep the machine fast, keep the spam down and answer when something breaks. None of that is necessary for casual posting, and some paid relays cap how much you can store, so treat one as an upgrade you make when a free relay stops being good enough.
Examples:
wss://nostr.wine(one-time admission fee)- Various private relays
Specialized Relays
Some relays exist for one subject, one region or one app. A smaller room means the people there are likelier to care about what you make, and it costs you nothing to add one alongside the general relays. Just don’t rely on a niche relay alone, since only the people who know about it will see you there.
Examples:
- Bitcoin-focused relays
- Regional relays (Europe, Asia, etc.)
- Language-specific relays
Start with free public relays. Add paid ones later if you need better performance or want to support the network.
Choosing Relays (5 minutes)
Recommended Starter Set
Connect to these four free relays for good coverage:
wss://relay.damus.io (Primary - most popular)
wss://nos.lol (Fast, reliable)
wss://relay.snort.social (Runs behind the Snort client)
wss://nostr.mom (Smaller, community-run)If you later want a paid relay in the mix, wss://nostr.wine is the best-known option. It’s covered further down.
A Note on Decentralization: While the popular relays above are great for getting started, relying only on a few large relays concentrates power and goes against Nostr’s decentralized ethos. As you become more comfortable, consider adding smaller, community-run relays and paid relays to support network diversity. The goal is a healthy mix of large and small relays, so that you’re not putting all your eggs in one basket.
Read Relays and Write Relays
Relay settings usually come in two columns. Write relays hold your own posts, so that’s where a new follower’s app goes looking for you. Read relays are the ones you watch for replies and mentions coming back. When you save your relay settings, your client publishes this list as a public note that any other app can read, which is how people find your posts without you telling them anything. There’s nothing to hand out by hand. The outbox model guide covers the mechanics if you’re curious.
Selection Criteria
1. Uptime. A relay that’s down half the time is a relay your readers can’t reach. nostr.watch tracks uptime if you want to check before adding one.
2. Location. A relay physically near you feels faster, so keep one or two close by and a couple further afield for reach.
3. Content policy. Some relays filter spam aggressively, some accept nearly everything. Read the operator’s stated policy and pick what you can live with.
4. Speed. If a relay takes several seconds to connect every time you open your app, it’s costing you more than it gives.
5. The operator. Someone who answers questions and says publicly what the relay does is worth more than raw specifications.
Where to Find Relays
- nostr.watch - Relay uptime monitor
- nostr.info - Relay directory
- Client recommendations - Many suggest default relays
- Community lists - Shared in Nostr posts
How Many Relays?
| User Type | Recommended | Maximum |
|---|---|---|
| Beginner | 3-5 | 10 |
| Active User | 5-10 | 20 |
| Power User | 10-15 | 30 |
| Bot/Service | 20+ | 50+ |
More isn’t always better:
- More relays = more bandwidth
- Diminishing returns after 10-15
- Quality over quantity
Don’t add 50+ random relays. It wastes bandwidth and slows down your client. Stick to 5-10 quality relays.
Relay Testing & Exploration
Try before you commit! Test relay speeds and see which ones work best for your location before adding them to your relay list.
Relay Playground
Test and explore Nostr relays in real-time. Check connectivity, inspect relay info, and analyze events.
Adding Relays (3 minutes)
Generic Steps (Most Clients)
-
Open Settings
- Usually gear icon or “Settings” menu
-
Find Relays Section
- Look for “Relays” or “Network”
-
Add New Relay
- Click ”+” or “Add Relay”
- Enter WebSocket URL:
wss://relay.example.com - Save
-
Verify Connection
- Should show green dot or “connected”
- May take a few seconds
Where the Setting Lives in Each App
Apps move their menus around between releases, so take these as a direction to head in. In Damus and Amethyst, open Settings and look for “Relays”. In Primal, it sits under Settings, then Network. In web clients like Iris or Coracle, it’s in the settings menu behind your avatar. If none of that matches what you see, type “relay” into the app’s own settings search.
You can practise the whole click-through without touching your real account in the client simulators at sandstr.app.
Troubleshooting Connection Issues
“Failed to connect”
- Make sure the address starts with
wss://, nothttps://,http://orws:// - Relay might be down
- Try again in a few minutes
“Timeout”
- Relay is slow or overloaded
- Try different relay
- Check your internet connection
No posts loading
- May need to wait for sync
- Try refreshing
- Check if relay has your followers’ posts
Paid Relays (3 minutes)
Why Pay?
A paid relay has an operator who can afford to care. That usually shows up as fewer outages, less spam in your replies and someone who actually responds when you report a problem. The moment to consider one is when free relays start letting you down, or when your archive matters enough to you that you want it somewhere with a bill attached.
Popular Paid Options
nostr.wine charges a one-time admission fee in bitcoin over Lightning (around 19,000 sats when this was written, so check the site for today’s price). What you get is a fast, well-kept general-purpose relay.
Private relays are run for a group: a magazine, a community, a family. Pricing varies and you normally get in by invitation. Worth asking about if you already belong to a circle that has one.
Setting Up Paid Relays
- Choose provider
- Pay (usually Bitcoin/Lightning)
- Receive credentials (if required)
- Add to client (same as free relays)
- Enjoy better performance
Hybrid approach: Use 3-5 free relays + 1-2 paid relays. Best of both worlds.
Your Own Relay [ADVANCED] (2 minutes)
Running your own relay means one copy of your work lives on a machine nobody else controls, under whatever rules you set. It also means renting a server (roughly $5 to $20 a month), pointing a domain at it and being comfortable working in a terminal. Most creators never need this, and skipping it costs you nothing: publishing to relays other people run is the normal way to use Nostr.
If you want to try anyway, three relay programs come up again and again. strfry is written in C++ and is the fast, lean option. nostr-rs-relay is the Rust one, actively developed. nostream is TypeScript and has the gentlest setup of the three. Each project keeps installation instructions in its own repository, and those stay current in a way a guide like this can’t, so start there rather than from a copied command list.
A relay is a thing you keep running, not a thing you set up once. Disks fill, software needs updating, backups need checking. Don’t start unless you want that job.
Troubleshooting (3 minutes)
Common Issues
Feed is empty
- Not connected to enough relays
- Relays are down
- Not following enough people
Fix:
- Check relay connections
- Add more popular relays
- Follow more people
Posts not showing up
- Relay rejected post (rate limit, content policy)
- Client not broadcasting
- Network issues
Fix:
- Check relay policies
- Try different relay
- Restart client
Slow performance
- Too many relays
- Slow relays in list
- Poor connection
Fix:
- Remove slow relays
- Stick to 5-10 quality relays
- Check internet connection
Can’t connect to relay
- Relay is down
- URL is wrong
- Firewall blocking
Fix:
- Check relay status on nostr.watch
- Verify URL format (wss://)
- Try different network
Monitoring Tools
- nostr.watch - Relay uptime and stats
- nostr.info - Relay directory and info
- Client relay status - Most clients show connection status
When to Switch Relays
Switch if:
- Frequently offline
- Very slow
- Censoring content you care about
- Better alternatives available
Don’t switch just because:
- One missed post
- Temporary slowdown
- Minor inconvenience
Quick Reference
Essential Free Relays:
wss://relay.damus.iowss://nos.lolwss://relay.snort.socialwss://nostr.mom
Recommended Count: 5-10 relays
Relay Format: wss://domain.com (must start with wss://)
Monitoring: nostr.watch for uptime stats
Support: Add 1-2 paid relays if you’re serious about Nostr
Test Your Relay Management Skills
Think you understand advanced relay concepts?
Selection Criteria
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Last guide of the Intermediate level
Nothing more follows in Intermediate. The path continues one level up.
Continue to Advanced