Beginner · 6 of 7
How Posts Travel: Relays Explained
Understand how Nostr relays work with simple analogies and interactive tools
Relays are the post offices of Nostr. They’re where your messages live and how they travel to reach other users.
The Post Office Analogy
Imagine Nostr as a network of post offices around the world.
- You have a mailbox (your keys)
- Relays are post offices
- Posts are letters you send
Here’s the key difference from traditional social media: You choose where to send your mail.
Traditional social media
Twitter/X
- One big server
- Everyone in one place
- The company decides the rules
Nostr
Relays
- Many post offices
- You pick which ones to use
- No single place to shut down
The Power of Choice
In Nostr, you’re not locked into one service provider. You can:
- Send posts to any relay
- Connect to multiple relays
- Switch relays anytime
- Run your own relay
Relay World Map
Relays are just servers, and they run all over the world.
relay.damus.io
Run by the team behind the Damus app.
nos.lol
Takes just about any note, except the spammy ones.
relay.primal.net
Primal's public relay, from the makers of the Primal app.
relay.snort.social
A fast relay that keeps recent notes in memory.
These relays answered when we checked them in September 2026. Relays come and go, so read this as a snapshot, not a live status.
Why Posts Don’t Sync
Here’s the most common confusion new users face:
“I posted something but my friend can’t see it!”
The Visual Explanation
You
Relay A only
Your friend
Relay B only
Relay A
wss://relay-a.example
Relay B
wss://relay-b.example
Your posts stay here
Their posts stay there
If you post to Relay A and your friend only uses Relay B, they won’t see your post.
The Solution: Connect to Multiple Relays
You
Connected to all three
Relay A
Relay B
Relay C
Your posts reach everyone reading any of them
Most Nostr clients connect you to several default relays. But understanding this helps when you:
- Can’t see someone’s content
- Want to join a specific community
- Need to troubleshoot missing posts
Post Flow Simulator
One post, sent to every relay you use at the same time. Relays never pass it to each other.
Relays don't sync with each other
You write a post on your device and sign it with your private key.
Choosing Relays
Default Recommendations
If you’re just starting, stick with these popular, reliable relays:
| Relay | Description | Cost |
|---|---|---|
wss://relay.damus.io | Damus main relay | Free |
wss://nos.lol | Popular general relay | Free |
wss://relay.primal.net | Primal’s public relay | Free |
Interest-Based Discovery
Communities often run their own relays for focused discussions. wss://nostr.bitcoiner.social is a long-running example, built around Bitcoin.
Topical relays come and go, so a list printed in a guide goes stale fast. Use the explorer below instead: it checks each relay while you look at it, so you only copy addresses that are actually answering right now.
Relay Explorer
Browse and connect to Nostr relays. Relays store and distribute your posts. Connect to multiple relays for better reliability.
11
Popular Relays
0
Online Now
7
Free Relays
0
Selected
Free vs Paid Relays
Free Relays
- Open to everyone
- May have rate limits
- Can fill up with spam
- Great for beginners
Paid Relays
- Ask for a small Bitcoin payment: some charge once when you join, others monthly
- Prices vary a lot, from a few thousand sats up to around 20,000
- Better performance
- Less spam
- Support relay operators
Tip: Start with free relays. You can always add paid ones later.
The Outbox Model (NIP-65) [ADVANCED]
This section is optional. You can use Nostr perfectly well without understanding NIP-65.
What is NIP-65?
NIP-65 introduces a smarter way to handle relays called the “outbox model.”
Instead of: You manually connecting to 10+ relays You do: Publish your preferred relay list once, let clients figure it out
How It Works
Your client publishes one short list, and every relay entry on it is marked as a place you write to, a place you read from, or both. Other people’s clients fetch that list before they go looking for you.
- Write relays are where you publish. When someone follows you, their client goes to your write relays to pull your posts.
- Read relays are where things addressed to you arrive: replies, mentions, notifications. Your client watches them so you see them.
If you get the two backwards, your posts land somewhere nobody thinks to look. Most clients set the markers for you when you edit your relay list in settings, so you rarely touch this by hand.
The full walkthrough, with what the list actually looks like, is in our Outbox Model guide.
Setting Up Personal Relays
For advanced users, running your own relay gives you:
- Complete control over your data
- A permanent copy of everything you post, held by you
- Independence from any single relay operator’s decisions
What it does not give you is reliability or privacy. A relay on your own server is only as dependable as that server, and a large operator usually keeps better uptime than you will. Privacy is a bigger misunderstanding: anything you post still travels out to your other relays and stays publicly readable there. A personal relay only changes where a copy of your posts is kept. Everyone can still read them.
Popular personal relay software:
- strfry - Fast C++ implementation
- nostr-rs-relay - Rust implementation
See our Relay Guide for detailed setup instructions.
Quick Reference
Common Relay Commands
In most clients, you can:
- Add relay: Settings → Relays → Add
- Remove relay: Long press/click relay → Remove
- Check status: Relay list shows connection status
Best Practices
- Connect to 4-8 relays for good coverage
- Include one “write” relay where you always post
- Check relay uptime before relying on it
- Keep your relay list updated as the network grows
Troubleshooting
”I can’t see any posts”
- Check if you’re connected to any relays (Settings → Relays)
- Try adding popular relays from the list above
- Wait a moment for content to load
”My posts disappear”
- Some relays delete old content to save space
- Connect to more relays, so no single one holds your only copy
- Paid relays usually keep posts around much longer, but nothing on Nostr is guaranteed forever: relays prune, change their rules, or close down
”Relay won’t connect”
- Check your internet connection
- Swap the
wss://at the front of the address forhttps://and open that in your browser: a working relay answers with an info page or a short block of text, a dead one gives you nothing at all - The relay might be down - try another one
Troubleshooting Wizard
Let's diagnose and fix your Nostr issue step by step
What's your problem?
Still need help?
Test Your Understanding
Think you’ve got relays figured out? Test your knowledge:
What is a Relay?
0/6 answered
Still Have Questions?
Join the Nostr community:
- Nostr Reddit
- Nostr Telegram
- Stacker News (Bitcoin/Nostr forum)